Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
