He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
