I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i used baking grease as lip gloss
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
