my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
