Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
