dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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