He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
