I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
