He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize