Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
