I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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