whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
