he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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