Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He shit in the fireplace
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
