He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
