How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
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she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
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True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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