You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
