Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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