after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
