if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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