just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
