everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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