I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*