he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night