I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
