it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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