She is in my trunk
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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