glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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