I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
