Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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