Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
