Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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