I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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