Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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