I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize