found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
