Tell her she can't have a vagina
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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