You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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