no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
