I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize