He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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