I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
