I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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