How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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