R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
