Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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