I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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