Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
