Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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