I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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