You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
