I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
