Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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