Kiss
Puke
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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