Can Purell be used as lube?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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