That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
