Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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