put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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