You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
