there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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