Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We got so high we made milksteak
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
