Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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