i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
