Quick, to the slutcave!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
