You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
