Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
