are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
