That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
