My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
