mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize