He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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