four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
