To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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