so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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