he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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