just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
